Cursed

Vision is cursed..
when you see something you want to touch.. you desire...
you are cursed, you already know you can't touch it, have it like you wanted...
touch is cursed...
sound is cursed too..
why did you have to listen to all those you ever heard?
life would've been easier, probably.. if you didn't...
world would've been a better place, if you couldn't remember... feel...
or it would've been much worse....
jhor asbena.. ashena...
"shudhu ashe firey bedonar chapa kanna..."
and you weep... deep inside... can't show, can't see either..
you can't even feel.. but you do feel...
and you almost know, there isn't a single you... you can almost touch that.. but what?
Knowledge is cursed...
Cursed is this existence...

Aur Devdas...

Anindya da,
We were right.
Dev wanted someone who'll just shut up and listen.
HELL, they blabber too much!
But then, Dev wanted a redemption too...
which never happens and I know you differ.
Can't help that too..
But let's not play the "who's more affected" game.
We already know what everybody knows!

Ek-i jontrona pabe...

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Another forgotten note

I seem to have lost my mind. Can't remember things, randomly!
And keep remembering things that I shouldn't have.
Can't find my complete Ghazal collection, 2 DVD's. One of them being a 8.5GB one.
Can't remember whom did I give many films from my DVD collection. The very best of contemporary Hindi Cinema. My research material!
And I've started finding weird stuff from completely unexpected places. It was fun when I used to find a coin or two from the pockets of some trouser that has already been washed. That doesn't happen anymore.

Found a long text message saved in my drafts. If sent, it'd take the length of 5 sms. It says,

"Given my situation, I can have a beautiful life, if a few lives are destroyed.But everything else will remain beautiful if I get destroyed instead. I'm too tired of sacrifices, this is the only time I wanted someone so passionately, selfishly for myself. Destiny it seems, I loved you... with all my existence, beyond morals and possibilities. Only once I wanted to become myself, beyond my projected self. Only this once, I wanted to spend my whole life with someone. Turned out to be the greatest mistake of my life. Hope you'll live happily ever after in the life you chose. Wish you all the luck and yes, goodbye... forever."

I forgot it existed, but I remember why I wrote it. Why?
I can't rectify those grammatical errors and I don't wish to do so. Since when did language started belonging to the ambit of desire?
Deleted..

A forgotten note

I was looking for a note that may reveal, who has got the DVDs that I need and can't find. I know my friends have got them and I usually never write it down, but still... may be I had, because sometimes I write them in some diary or pad, whatever I find ready at hand, then forget, usually!
Didn't find what I was looking for, but found this note at the last, torn page of one of the pads...

"Why do you care,even if I'm not well? You've certain expectations from me, though you deny that. In fact, I would say all of us enter into some kind of relationship with a charter of demands on our mind. You should be happy that you're getting what you want. Yes, you had to experience a few hick-ups in the beginning, but I guess that's part of the deal, isn't it?"

Since when did I start scribbling such stuff? Strange!